Archie Baby Diaries

These were stressful days..first finding out he had jaundice and having to put him under the horrible light unit with the awful face mask to protect his eyes. That was terrible because he hated it so much. He just cried and cried and really wailed too. I felt so horrible for him. The lasting memory that will stay with me forever is that last couple of hours before they came to do the jaundice blood test again, where we knew we had to keep him under the lights as much as possible to get the most out of it before the test, but he was so inconsolable. Charles and I stood by his side, Charles holding his hand, me stoking his head, singing coca-cabana to him over and over again for two whole hours. We felt like we were literally singing him through it, and I truly felt like it was the three of us, working through it, for the first time. Of course he also had the antibiotics whilst we were waiting to hear about infection, and that was awful because of the cannula he had to have i...

I decided to start writing down my experiences of motherhood in an attempt to both record how I am feeling at different stages for future reference and also in attempt to get it all out of my system. I he found writing cathartic before…maybe it can be again. I am now wishing I had started this earlier as it would have been good to have a thorough record of those early weeks, when things and feelings change daily, so my first entry will be an attempt to recollect the first six weeks…